The Unneeded Invitation
by m4g3rul3z
Summary: The century's most anticipated wedding is about to take place, but there's one secret that Kyoko has kept from Ren, and it's one that's most certain to put him in a rather...fowl mood.


_When the plot bunny in your head changes from fluffy white, to flashing neon pink and lime green, and finally turns into a squawking chicken; it's probably best to get it out of your head. _

…

Lory Takarada folded his arms with a sense of great accomplishment. All the merciful angels of heaven had heard his desperate, longing cries for lenience, and had finally descended with their harps and lyres to join his two most beloved "Love Me" prodigies in holy matrimony. Who cared if only one of them was an official member of the neon pink brigade he had created? He would have commanded the other, equally obtuse man under his wing to suit up a long time ago, if only he had been blessed with that stroke of genius one or two years earlier.

Ah, what use was it reminiscing now? The princess had finally been wooed, and her prince had iridescent wings that encircled and lifted them both high onto their own entourage of cloud nines. He stared at the wedding invitation with a slight sense of disbelief, yet an unspeakable calm and relief washed over him, as he set out a satisfied sigh. After four gruelling years, the President could finally give his undivided attention on his role playing, romance games without worrying about reality.

…

Kyoko licked the last cream-coloured flap and sealed it shut, this one to Taisho-san and Okami-san at the Darumaya. A light smile played on her lips as she leaned against her fiancé, giving him a chaste kiss on his flawless cheek. Ren's pure blue eyes turned away from the television and gazed into Kyoko's, as a wave of affection compelled him to draw her closer into his warm embrace. He had waited four years to do this, and Ren swore that if her heart ever skipped a beat, then his would beat in place of hers.

"I'll drop this one off tomorrow at the Darumaya," Kyoko nuzzled Ren's neck, "and I'll probably stay for lunch."

"You aren't having lunch with me?" Ren drew away from Kyoko and pouted childishly, "but I want you to have lunch with me."

"You've got the rest of your life to have lunch, breakfast AND dinner with me!" Kyoko giggled and poked him. "I'll even cook for you everyday if you want me to. Stop being such a baby!"

There it was; the sullen puppy. Kyoko winced as she came under the subtle wrath of Ren's puppy eyes that she had never quite developed a resistance to, even after all these years. The outlines of two droopy ears over his head, coupled with his watery orbs never failed to tug on every single one of her heartstrings. She sighed in utter defeat as his expertly timed, hopeful glances tipped the scales in his favour.

"Fine, fine; you can come with me to the Darumaya."

"Dear, don't roll your eyes; I heard it causes wrinkles," Ren chuckled. "But I'll still love you."

A deep red crept over Kyoko's face as soon as the declaration left his warm, soft lips. Although she had graduated from the "Love Me" department a full two years ago, she still couldn't get used to the fact that the most desirable man in all of Japan was taken; and by her, no less. He was her fairy prince, her Corn, her sempai; the friend she never knew she always had. What was even more unbelievable in her books was that the romantic sap she called her fiancé would regularly be the cause of her incessant bouts of blushing, where even the slightest declaration of his love for her would send fires coursing through her veins.

"I've got one more invitation of my own to deliver," Ren smiled warmly at the enchanting woman tangled in his arms. "I'm doing it tomorrow too."

Ren gazed adoringly at the raven-haired girl whom he wasn't quite sure had heard his last sentence, but he decided that it didn't matter. Draping his arm across her petite frame, he sighed contentedly as her head nestled into the crook of his neck.

"I can't believe you're actually…marrying…me," Kyoko mumbled, cheeks still flushed.

"Sincerely," Ren lifted her face and held her honeyed eyes with his own intense gaze, "neither can I."

…

Kyoko paced down the hallway that led to the studio where her next appointment was scheduled to take place. Even with the upcoming wedding preparations, both Ren and herself had insisted that as professionals, they were more than capable of juggling their schedules and nuptial plans, and had thus avoided cancelling any of their previously accepted jobs or photo shoots.

"Mogami-san!"

Kyoko shook her head. The long work hours must have gotten to her already; she must have been hearing things. The sound of her soon-to-be maiden name frantically bounced off the walls of the oblong LME corridor as she quickened her steps.

"Moooogaaaamiiii-SAAANN!"

It was Ren's fault. Maybe he should have at least let the President clear their schedules for this week, just like he had insisted to. Then again, it probably was the handmade chocolates that Julie-san had air-flown to Japan when she heard the news.

"MOGAMI-SAN!"

Kyoko leapt ten feet into the air as Sawara-san finally managed to catch the fleeing actress by her shoulders.

"Are you so love-struck that you can't hear anyone else's voice?" Sawara-san shook his head incredulously at the woman who had bugged him day and night years ago for a chance to even touch the marble flooring of the exact same building.

"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'MSOR-"

Sawara-san wasn't sure to be flustered or be enthralled by her ever-perfect dogeza, which although he was glad he saw less of these days, was still as convincing and somewhat endearing as ever.

"It's okay, no need to apologize," he smiled and pulled the teary-eyed twenty-year-old to her feet. "I just have this one request from the producer of Kimagure Rock."

Kyoko tilted her head in confusion. The variety show had stopped airing two years ago after Bridge Rock had decided to devote themselves solely to producing music, and had been touring around Japan ever since. She had even sent all three Ishibashis' wedding invitations! Horror plastered itself on her face. Had the producer found out she didn't invite him? But she didn't even know the man well; just that he had almost fired her on her first day! Was it retribution for her ungrateful soul that she had left him out? Kyoko's mind swam in the murky depths of despair as Sawara-san shivered from the sudden drop in temperature.

"Kyo…Kyoko-chan," the actress snapped out of her distress at his voice, "all the producer mentioned is that you need to be backstage at the old Kimagure Rock set this afternoon, at about 2pm. He promised it wouldn't take more than ten minutes, and I already made space in your schedule for it."

"Oh Sawara-san, you shouldn't be taking care of my schedule anymore!"

"It's my pleasure to," the older man smiled warmly. "He said it's important, so you better be there!"

"Arigatou! Ja-ne, Sawara-san!" Kyoko bowed gratefully, and sped like a lightning bolt toward her next engagement.

Sawara-san glanced bemusedly at the trail she had burned through the carpet, still singed from her sudden takeoff. Having been unable to say the words which had already been at the tip of his tongue, he smiled and repeated them in his head.

_Congratulations, Kyoko-chan. _

…

Ren drove into the parking lot outside the Darumaya at about noon, having recently buried Yashiro in a tsunami of distraught fan mail from heart-broken fans, and forced him to do some reflecting and damage control for the relationship he had so eagerly shipped for the past four years. He could almost imagine his irate manager ordering a handmade set of voodoo Ren dolls from Kyoko and eagerly sticking pin after pin into his charge's plush figurine. Although he was glad Yashiro's matchmaking schemes finally paid off, he still hadn't forgiven his meddling, fan-boy manager for all the torture he had put the actor through. Ren smirked at the thought.

_That'll teach him. _

As he entered the Darumaya, he at once noticed the love of his life seated, back-facing the doorway, in the most formal manner, her stance flawless. From that angle too, he had a perfect view of her silky hair, her slim frame, her sensuous curves…and last but not least, the subtle, disapproving glint in Taisho-san's eyes. Ren immediately backed up and tugged at his collar, wondering silently if insisting to join Kyoko for lunch was the best idea.

Yet when her sparkling golden eyes met his, he knew it was the right decision. Anything involving being near her would be the right decision.

Even if it meant that his neck was in perpetual risk of having a close encounter with the oversized, glinting chopper that the elder held firmly in his right hand.

…

"Ren, where are we going?"

Kyoko stared at the handsome man looking adoringly back at her and blushed profusely.

"You'll see. You don't have any jobs after this, do you?"

"Not until 2pm," she grinned, _and that can't even be considered as a job, _"that means I get to spend the rest of the hour with you!"

Kyoko's cheerfulness hit Ren at full blast, making him now wish that he could let go of the steering wheel he was holding and rain kisses on Kyoko instead. _NO. _He chided himself as he drove back to LME. This was the most important wedding invitation he had to give, right after the invitation he had given to Yashiro, who had needed three full pails of ice water to wake him up from his fan-boy fainting spell. The invitations to Father and Mother didn't count; Kyoko had wanted both of them to give those. This invitation was to the first friend who had helped him realise the emotion of love within him, and who he had it for. Ren glanced at the edge of the last cream coloured envelope that belonged to him, peeking mischievously at him from the side pocket of his car.

"Not just me," he returned her blinding smile with a gentle one, "we'll be meeting a very good friend of mine."

…

Ren checked his watch, slightly agitated. It was already five minutes past two, and he'd already asked the producer to have the actor or actress who played Bo to show up. Although he hadn't met the chicken for two years, and had already been well enough on his way to winning over Kyoko, he was completely sure that the fowl wasn't one to be late. Glancing over at Kyoko, it didn't help his mood as he saw her squirming uncomfortably and looking furtively away from him. The actress had been receiving increasingly more important jobs the moment she turned eighteen, and even an appointment; as she hastily told him what her engagement at two was; could mean that her career was on the line. As the professional she was, it was no wonder that she wasn't comfortable letting someone else wait for her.

"I'm calling Sawara-san, he's my contact point."

Before Ren could even take his handphone out of his pocket, Kyoko had snatched it out of his unnaturally large hands. The older actor looked at her with a questioning gaze.

"NO!" the yell echoed throughout the empty storage room. "I…I mean, no, we're meeting your friend, so I'm sure he'll come. You don't need to call Sawara-san, just wait and trust that your friend will come!"

Ren stared incredulously at his flustered wife-to-be. As strange as it sounded, if Kyoko wanted him to trust his friend, then so be it. He placed the mobile device back into his pocket.

"Ne, Ren," Kyoko's face had almost immediately turned away, and the tone in her voice had dramatically softened. "Why is this friend so important?"

"He helped me with a script once, and cheered me on when I hadn't had the courage to believe in myself, or my Katsuki," Ren faced her with a wan smile, "but the most important thing he did was open my eyes."

It was Kyoko's turn to hold a questioning gaze.

"He helped me realise that the person I wanted to cherish for a lifetime was you."

Kyoko crept over to the bench that Ren sat on, remembering each and every memory that he had recounted mere seconds ago. Although her version might have been slightly warmer in terms of temperature, as well as having had her vision impaired by the slit-eyed fluffy fowl costume, those memories were as vividly imprinted in her mind as they were in his. She couldn't let her only love down.

"Ren, I'm going to the washroom, I'll be back soon."

She gave him a quick hug and rushed to find the old cardboard box which held her costume.

…

"Ah, I heard you wanted to see me," Kyoko flounced out from behind the cabinets with as much gracefulness as a chicken could flounce with. "Why? Missed me already?"

Ren's jaw fell when he saw the chicken. This one never failed to amuse him.

"You haven't aged a day," the actor smiled.

"Of course not! Laughter is not only the best medicine; it's also the best anti-aging device! Since I've been laughing at your mistake in that simple idiom for the past four years, I'm probably younger than when we first met! Oh HO HO HO!"

Ren's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He had forgotten how this fowl had been able to put him in such a…foul mood.

"AH! I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" The chicken's mocking countenance suddenly softened and did a dogeza. "You must have asked me here for something important!"

"It is," he smiled, all past grievances forgiven, and pulled out the cream coloured envelope from his pocket. "I'm marrying the high school girl I was in love with. Thank you for -"

Kyoko's mind had suddenly ceased all operations. Ren was marrying her, not a high school girl! He had only loved that high school girl for the one, maybe two years after they had met. That was the reason she couldn't understand his advances toward her early on, wasn't it? He had loved someone else, and all the times he had kissed her, or shown her his captivating, angelic smile; Kyoko had attributed it to the fact that he wasn't quite paying attention to whom he was doing it to. How could Ren be marrying someone else? Ren was marrying her! He loved her, didn't he?

Kyoko ripped off the head from her costume.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE MARRYING ME!"

Ren wasn't sure what he should have been more shocked about at that particular point in time; the unearthly screech from the recently beheaded chicken, or that his good friend and his fiancé were one and the same. His eyes must have shown his fear and trepidation which he made no attempt to conceal, as Kyoko watched his eyes widen in horror. The girl however, had other thoughts on her mind.

"How could you be marrying a high school girl? We already sent out all the invitations! To the President, Father and Mother, even to Maria-chan! They'll be devastated! And…and even to Moko-san! Moooookooooo-saaaaan!"

Instead of his previous dilemma on what he should have been shocked about, Ren faced an entirely new obstacle altogether. Was his new wife to be THAT unable to realise after all this while, the only woman in his eyes was her? His forehead connected with his palm in an extremely ungentlemanly fashion as a pained expression took his face prisoner in lead chains.

"The high school girl I was in love with was you!" Ren spat out in fury, cutting into Kyoko's incessant, distraught ramble.

Kyoko's golden eyes widened.

"You…you loved me when I was in high school?" Kyoko counted the years on her feathered fingers. "That's…four years ago! That's the first year when we met!"

"I can't believe this." Ren now used both hands to cradle his head in. "I even told the chicken. And YOU were the chicken!"

Kyoko grinned sheepishly as she raised a wing to touch Ren's shoulder.

"Tsu…Tsuruga-san, I'm sorry?" She squeaked tentatively.

Ren stopped shaking and snapped upright, his back ramrod straight. Kyoko looked into his eyes and realised that her most feared side of her husband to be had already possessed him; the dark wonton lust of the Emperor of the Night that had unconsciously mingled in the deep emotions of the sadistic Cain Heel. Gulping, Kyoko took two steps back, as the Emperor of the Night; version 2.0; took one giant leap forward, and peered right into the hunted fowl's fearful golden eyes.

"You made me waste this invitation," Ren held out the cream coloured envelope. "A tree sacrificed itself for nothing. Maybe it was a fairy's home, and now she has to make a new one, all because you…" Ren came even closer to Kyoko's trembling frame, making her shuffle back even further. "Didn't tell me that _you_ were the chicken."

Kyoko suddenly tripped over her webbed feet, legs having had lost its impeccable ability to balance in the blasted costume. Coming face to face with the most frightening demon of them all, she hauled the chicken head back over hers and shut her eyes. Taking advantage of the situation, Ren sat on the cotton belly of the mascot, irately tugging at the seams of the fowl's head.

"Kyoko-chan," Ren began in his dangerously syrupy sweet voice, "did you just call me 'Tsuruga-san'? Do you want me to rip the cock's comb off? I've already done it once; I can do it again. And this time…I won't stop there."

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Ren swiftly beheaded the chicken once more.

"You've been a BAAAAAD chicken," he tugged at her flushed cheeks, and leaned over Kyoko as she lay paralysed on the floor.

Kyoko gulped, and knew that she was in hot soup that night.

…

Yashiro wondered why Ren had requested to meet at the old studios before they set off for their next job. It hadn't been years since he had to use that wing of the LME building for interviews, and there was no reason either of them should be there.

The slim manager had already been waiting at the designated spot for twenty minutes, yet the lanky actor had been a no-show. After eight years of being in showbiz, Ren had still been the most punctual actor to date. Even though he didn't have an engagement to rush for, there was still no way he would have been late, even if it was meeting his manager. Not even if said manager had gone through two full hours of agony trying to filter through all the fan-turned-hate-mail since the public announcement of Ren and Kyoko's engagement. Not that it was anything to be upset about.

Pacing around the studios, he had already slipped his hands into his gloves, ready to call his charge, when he heard muffled screams from; to his knowledge; an unused studio.

Opening the door, Yashiro would soon discover that there was more than one way to destroy his handphone, as the cool metallic mobile slipped out of his hand to collide with the floor. He had involuntarily shut the same door, glad that he had gone unnoticed. The memory burned into his mind as his legs speedily took him in an opposite direction.

Ren had been bent over an oversized chicken, pinning its wings down as a whimpering, golden coloured kouhai stared right back at him.

_WHAA…WHAT KIND OF FETISHES DOES THAT SICK BASTARD HAVE?_

…

_Hahahaha. Hope you guys had as much fun reading this as I did writing it! Thanks for all the support you've given me in my other fanfics, I just decided to write this little ditty out since it had been plaguing me for the last week or so. It was such a joy to write!_

_Do review; it's chicken soup for the author's soul, no preservatives included. =)_


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